How To Act On Somebody's Death

HOW TO ACT ON SOMEBODY'S DEATH

Death is just the passing of soul from one medium of life to another but it is nevertheless a very sober occasion. We need to be sensitive about the death of someone in the family but it is appalling how some of us fail to act proper on such occasions.

One of my real aunts passed away very recently due to pneumonia in Karachi. She was above 70. We got the news of her death about one hour later. Next day was my niece’s birthday who along with her other siblings was staying at our place but it was understood that we were not going to celebrate it. However, just before midnight my nephew brought and placed a small cake with a knife on the table in front of us. I told him gently that it was not right to celebrate the birthday just one night later the death of a family member. He said they were just trying to console my niece who was close with the departed.

It was a very small celebration but I felt bad and didn’t forbid them harshly because that does not work out well in such situations, rather it can lead to revolt among youngsters. It’s almost like taking away a kid’s ice-cream when he is about to eat it.

When they left our home three days later I just sent them a text that we don’t even need to be Muslims to not celebrate anything at such times, we just need to be human enough. The good thing is they finally realized this as it showed on their faces when they came again later to meet us!

What do you think about it? I think we need to give moral guidance to youth also from time to time instead of lectures on worldly success on constant basis. Going after worldly success is ingrained in the minds of youngsters from the start but most of them do not care about morality. It is our responsibility to guide them about the difference between right and wrong on different issues of life. 

Like for example, even celebrating a birthday at 12 midnight is such an improper custom we have started. Traditionally, midnight has always been associated with horror stories, evil forces etc and is certainly not the time to celebrate anything! 

-          By S Roman Ahsan.